Monday, January 10, 2011
it seems that i had been neglecting a lot of things.
ever since i started my shift, my weekends are "eaten up" every alternate week.
and some days when i'm working, my friends are sleeping.
wanted to meet up after i end work, it's already late at night.
so it's rather hard for me to catch up with regardless my wushu friends, poly friends or even my sec/pri sch friends.
i guess that's one of the sacrificial that a process technician had to make.
frankly speaking, i dont mind working such a odd timing and days.
in fact, i find that it makes my life less dead.
okay, it seems that i'm contradicting.
forget it..
i think my mind is block somewhere that makes me think like this.
another clique meetup this coming sunday, to celebrate one of our smartest friend (sukchey's) birthday.
and i'm going to after my morning training, before my night training.
i hope it wouldnt turn out like it always turn out to be.
btw, it still have days to go, still got time for some fuckers to change their bloody mindset.
anyway, i've grown numb towards it..
anything they say, i guess i'll just keep any comments away and go with 'orh...'
that's the best answer and their favourite word they would like to hear from me.
and i have no more energy to get piss off with such matters anymore.
they dont treasure, why should i bother to then?
as long as i turn up for such events, it means job done.
i shall close my eyes, shut my ears and zip my mouth.
the others want to attend or not, is up to their business.
i wouldnt go round begging them, saying conditions anymore.
cause it is none of my business.
if they got the heart, they should know what to do.
after those unhappy things happen, i slowly to begin to lower down my expectations.
i dont look very forward like i used to in the past.
as for my birthday.
i dont even want to think there will be a separate celebration.
i guess they will just chunk together with cny celebration.
oh well. not as if this is the first time.
it always like that btw.
the only time it wasnt like this was last year.
indeed, i enjoyed my birthday last year.
it was fun and everyone turn up to celebrate my bday.
but that's was once in 3 years of poly.
blame me for having a birthday close to exams.
i dont blame them, i blame myself for wanting to come out of my mum's womb on that day.
for that pathetic 2 years, my birthday was never celebrate.
they just gave me my present, send me their greetings and that's all.
not even wanting to hang out after paper.
is okay.
i'm actually already used for people not celebrating my bday.
as long as present is here, i'm totally fine.
i'm not complaining about anything, i'm just venting out my frustration.
as i had been keeping it ever since poly.
looking at my other friends celebrating their bday somewhere nice..
it just make me jealous.
and i cant even express it to them.
cause, they dont care at all..
is okay....
i'm not expecting anything.
BEEP-BOOPED@
11:17 pm
welcome! (: